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First Love by Rose
Okay now I have finished writing that PhD chapter I have been working all month. I can write about seeing Ralph Fiennes in ‘First Love’. I went
to the premiere on Tuesday the 9th of January. I arrived two hours early because I had no idea how to get to this part of Sydney. Last time I was
at the Parade Theatre was 1972 when I saw ‘Richard the II’. Not the same building even. I had something to eat and watched the people arrive. One
Spanish lady asked me to take her picture next to Ralph’s poster. I asked if she was a fan and it turned out she didn’t even know who Ralph was!
She asked me how you pronounced his name. Considering how hard it was to get tickets I was surprised by this! A lot of the audience were regular
Sydney Festival and theatre goers and not necessarily Ralph Fiennes fans.
My mother got me this ticket – D 22 – right in front. No complaints there. I could see his face quite clearly. Ralph’s performance was very intense
– he hardly moves. The text is also very slow and very sad and was that a tear I saw at one point or sweet he wipes away from the corner of his
eye? He must have been very ‘warm’ with all those clothes on stage despite the air-conditioning being freezing! Ralph speaks with a delightful
Irish lilt that brings the Beckett, especially the humorous bits, to life: “The mistake is to talk to people” about saying a word or two to a woman
he had been sitting next to on a park-bench for several weeks. “Here below lies the above” in relation to writing his own epitaph. The lady sitting
next to me was chuckling the whole time. At one point there was feedback on the sound-system. I imagine a beheading of some kind took place after
the performance to commemorate this event. Taking his bows at the end Ralph still remained pretty intense. The second last performance was very
different. Ralph spoke ‘faster’, added a few visual jokes, left out the bits that didn’t get a laugh the previous time and was clearly more
relaxed. I will write about this next time.
After the performance I went to the stage door. There was a young man there with a DVD of ‘The Constant Gardener’. I asked him if Ralph was coming
out this way. He said he had been told ‘Yes, but he would only sign autographs if there were not too many people and he would not pose for
photographs.’ We both started hoping there wouldn’t be a crowd. Two women came along, a lovely lady called Gayle who works on the Channel 7 news
here in Sydney and her female cousin down on holidays from The Gold Coast in Queensland. We were happily chatting about TV, meeting celebrities and
The Gold Coast when two young ushers came out the stage door and someone inside barked angry words at them. “What did you do?” we asked. They
shrugged and said something we couldn’t hear as they walked away. I think the management were worried fans were going to try and come in the stage
door which is normally locked. A group of about 20 young fans started to gather. Everyone was standing very far away. Just me, the young man, Gayle
and her cousin were sitting close on the railing opposite the stage door. Suddenly Ralph and two other gentlemen came out - ‘First Love’ director,
Michael Colgan, and someone else in management for the Parade Theater both hovering around Ralph protectively. Now everything from this point went
into slow motion, if you know what I mean. Ralph and the other two gentlemen were all looking a bit concerned, unsure what was going to happen –
there is no barrier to keep people back. Not necessary. Everyone is standing over twenty feet away in a big semicircle, too scare to come forward!
I was first on the left and Ralph looks at me and so I move forward into the middle of the driveway and he came over to me. This felt very weird.
Then everyone else comes forward too. Ralph was in a beautiful light brown, almost yellow suite with white open neck shirt, he looked so handsome
but also rather shy and tired. He reminded me of fine china, almost breakable in some way. I thought he looked a little underweight too. He had
probably been worrying about his performance leading up to this opening night, unsure how it would be received etc. I felt rather overwhelmed to be
so close to him but luckily I had an object to direct attention to: a 1979 novel by his mother called ‘The Dust Collector’ I wanted him to sign.
(It is story about a Beckett-like character, an old man, called Joseph Finnes, who when it is discovered by his local Irish community that he
enjoys collecting dust, people try to first have him arrested and then committed to a mental asylum.) I really don’t remember exactly what we said
but I think my conversation with Ralph went something like - Rose: ‘I have a book by your mother’ Ralph: ‘You certainly have’ Rose: ‘Would you sign
it?’ I watched Ralph do this elaborate signature while the young man with the ‘The Constant Gardener’ DVD asked ‘Have you been to Australia
before?’ ‘Yes’ said Ralph. ‘For Oscar and Lucinda’ I said. Ralph wasn’t one for elaborate conversation. He then signed the young man’s DVD of ‘The
Constant Gardëner’ and posed for a photo with him! This surprised me considering we had been told he wouldn’t do this. He then signed autographs
for everyone, spoke a few words in response to questions and comments from the other fans and posed for more photos including one for Gayle.
Michael Colgan then said that’s enough and just as they were about to leave and a four-wheel drive drove up behind us, Gayle gestured she would
take my photo with Ralph. Ralph comes over and Gayle waits for me to smile. She then took a photo! I am still amazed I have this Memento. Firstly,
I was amazed Ralph Fiennes would agree to have his photo taken with me, if you look carefully you can see he is faintly smiling. He was so generous
especially considering he must have been very tired. And then to think that someone who had never met me before would take a picture and posted it
with a lovely card. I will treasure that photo and card. Gayle Rules! Michael Colgan then whisked Ralph to the car. I was giving Gayle my address
as they drove passed. Ralph was looking, or was that glaring, at me. Perhaps he was surprised to see someone with his mother’s novel? Perhaps he
was wondering if I was planning to sell it on EBay? He was not happy that night but everyone was so stoked to meet him we just didn’t care! I waved
automatically and he waved back, still glaringly at me. It all felt all so very weird!
A young Hungarian lady who lives near the Parade Theater in Kensington, later told me she came to the stage door every night after the performance.
She said there was a crowd after the first two performances but after that only ever three or four people! I was surprised to hear this! She also
said they wouldn’t let anyone take photos again after the first night! Mind you when I saw Ralph in the foyer after the second last performance on
the 19th January he did pose for a photo with this young Hungarian woman despite first saying he wouldn’t because if he did everyone would want him
to. He was also a very different person – still reserved towards the fans - but very relaxed and happy when chatting with some Australian friends,
in a pale sky-blue shirt, dark pants and open sandals. If you weren’t looking for him you wouldn’t even have recognised him! You could have
mistaken him for a very polite, ordinary Uni student, almost under-dressed for the foyer of the Parade Theatre! One could say his very ordinariness
was his disguise! Waiting for the appropriate moment to approach him I remember staring at his toes poking out from that old pair of sandals. I
will write more about this next time. Meeting him a second time I mean, not the bit about staring at his toenails… This second meeting made me
feel even more like an inarticulate 14 year old girl…
‘First Love’ Friday the 19th – second last performance.
Okay a brief re-appraisal of the first performance in order to make a comparison. I thought Ralph was almost angry in the first performance. The
general mood was one of loss, bereavement, and ‘why don’t you people all leave me alone’. This second last performance was quite different, almost
comedic and light-hearted in comparison. Ralph’s delivery seemed faster but maybe that was just because I was now familiar with the text. I wish
now I had the Becket text in front me so I could be more specific about particular moments! Ralph played up the humour – at one point sitting on
his park-bench he made a ‘Voldemort’ face at the audience and later, talking about sleeping in a field of 6 foot high nettles, he mugged a
crucifiction pose! The audience reaction was more positive and at the curtain calls people almost cheered. Friday audiences are always more
responsive. Ralph did three curtain calls instead of just two for the first night, smiled and mouthed ‘thank you’ before running off. There was no
running that first night!
I had bought a film script book I wanted to give him as a present. So I went to the stage door again. I was the only one there… I thought this is
very strange. Then a young Hungarian lady with a camera came along. She lives near the Parade Theatre in Kensington and said she had come very
night to the stage door. She said after the first two performances there were only ever three or four people at the stage door. There a young
Chinese girl came along. She had come all the way from Adelaide to see Ralph which would have cost her a small fortune. Michael Colgan then turned
up in a black Sydney Festival Car. He stepped out and I said ‘Good Evening, Sir!’ He said ‘Good Evening’ back, smiled and went in the stage door.
The Hungarian lady told me she was hoping to get Ralph’s picture but Ralph would not pose for pictures after that first night. Michael Colgan then
came out the stage door and said to us that Ralph was in the foyer. Panic! I didn’t want to miss him! I don’t remember if I said ‘Thanks’ to Colgan
before, with great dignity, we ran back around the front of the building and into the foyer. The Chinese lady said to me ‘I shouldn’t be running in
stilettos, you are a bad influence!’. I looked around at the audience waiting to go in to the next play ‘Oh Joe’. The Chinese lady saw him at the
front of the ticket office! Ralph was talking to two Australian couples. He was dressed very casually, under-dressed for the theatre, in light blue
shirt, dark pants and open sandals. He looked so incredibly ordinary. I’m reminded that in his biography an acquaintance describes Ralph as “a
quiet homely chap.” He looked like a very pleasant, rather poor university student! If I hadn’t been looking for him I may not have even seen him.
His very ordinariness was like a disguise. I’m reminded of that scene in ‘Lawrence after Arabia’ where T.E Lawrence after being in uniform suddenly
attracts attention when he arrives at a Paris reception in his desert ropes. I suspect Ralph knows all about glam and fakery. He was talking very
happily about driving to one of Sydney’s northern beaches. Using his fingers to outline the route and saying it looked easy on the map. He also
mentioned how he had been staying with friends in Sydney. I didn’t mean to be listening in but I didn’t want to miss the chance to talk to him. So
all three of us, the Hungarian lady, the young Chinese woman, and me just stood there waiting for our opportunity to inflict ourselves on him. I
found myself staring at his toes, more specifically his toenails! Ralph has such beautiful hands and long finger nails I was fascinated to see he
has slightly rounded toes and shortish toenails! A very tall young woman came up to Ralph and kissed him. Ralph turned his back to us as they had a
conversation making me feel even more uncomfortably like ‘stalker fan’. He must have known we were there but never acknowledged us. When this young
lady left I seized my opportunity. ‘I have something I want to give you’ I said. ‘To say thank you’. I don’t remember looking at him but he turned
towards me as I reached down into my bag pulled out a book and dropped my program on the floor which the young Chinese lady picked up for me. ‘You
like Tarkovsky’ I said (Tarkovsky was a Russian film-maker who made religious epics and died in 1986). “I love Tarkovsky” Ralph says. Ralph’s
Australian friends look round briefly. “This is a script book I bought in 1986…” I wanted to tell him a little about the book, why it is special
to me… and also explain it was in German but if he can’t read German it still features beautiful colour stills on every page… but Ralph interrupts
asking: “Which one?” He is holding the book, looking at it but can’t see the title because I had put a little note saying ‘Thank you’ over it. I
hold the book too trying to push the note out of the way to show him: “Oh The Sacrifice” I said. Ralph says nothing. This is my favourite Tarkovsky
film. I wanted to ask him which was his favourite Tarkovsky film but I got the impression he didn’t want to engage in conversation… So instead I
thanked him for coming to Australia and how much it meant to me to have the opportunity see him perform live. “It has been a very special for me” I
said. All the time I say this I don’t remember looking at him. I blanked out. But then I remember looking at him. Ralph smiled at me, this big
smile, and offered his hand! This made me feel weird. I took his hand and we shook hands. Getting weirder! He had a very firm grip but oh, what a
hot hand! Either he was still hot from being on stage, though he didn’t look hot though, or he has a high metabolic rate. Some men have a slightly
higher metabolic rate. I was little overwhelmed at this point… Ralph then turned to the Hungarian lady who asked if she could have her picture
with him. Ralph protested that if he did so he would have to pose for everyone but did it anyway. The Chinese lady took the photo. Then three other
young female fans came over with programs. Ralph signs their programs and then turned back to his Australian friends with his back to us again
holding my book with folded arms against his body. I’m just standing here… I felt I should have spoken up for the young Chinese lady who was too
shy to say anything… or at least ask the Hungarian lady for a copy of her photo! But unfortunately logical speech and thought processes were
beyond me at this point… I decided to leave and I think I said: “Thank you Ralph!” He turns his head, look at me and smiles and I leave…
The end.
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First Love by Annie
I am in love with First Love! I saw the preview performance last night (it's the afternoon of the 10th already in Australia) and I was
speechless, which is similar to my Faith Healer reaction. I had seen Ralph in other plays prior to FH and FL, but because FH and FL are such
intimate performances (FH with three people in the cast and FL with only Ralph), I have a much more profound reaction. I REALLY wish you all could
see Ralph in this one-man show. I don't know how many of you have read FL, but the character isn't exactly likeable. He is vulgar with questionable
morals, but, as with every Beckett character, he becomes at once endearing and repulsive to the audience. One can identify with his fallacies, as
they are the same weaknesses that everyone has at the very core, but those weaknesses obviously manifest themselves differently. You feel sorry for
this guy because he is obviously devastated by his father's death, but then he leaves this woman he "shacks up with" while she is in
labor (reminds me a lot of how Frank Hardy abandons his wife during the birth of their stillborn child). Beckett accomplishes the wavering sympathy
for his anti-hero and, as with FH, I was anxious to see how Ralph would bring this character to life onstage and accomplish the same thing that
Beckett does. And, as with FH, Ralph does this masterfully. I am just left in awe every time I see him perform in person and his craft gets finer
and finer. Just when you think he can't top his previous stage role, there he goes again--again and even more craftfully.
Anyway, I'll post more later. I'm seeing the show a few more times while I'm here, among other things. I'll post pictures as soon as I get back
home and upload them on my computer.
I am in total bliss--this wonderful festival on this beautiful continent with the the world's most talented and handsome actor. Who could ask for
more???
Hey, Fienne Friends!
I got back from Australia yesterday and had a BLAST (and didn't have time to check the forum, so I didn't see the fan meet-up post until today). I
don't have much else to say that hasn't already been said by Hammer11 or Rose--they did a great job of capturing the experience! I saw First Love
four times and each was a different experience. Ralph did, indeed, seem exhausted after the final performance and there was that mixture of relief
and sadness in his eyes as he came out of the stage door after the last performance. But he was incredible. It was really great to see the
transformation of his performance--the little gestures, intonations, facial expressions, movements, etc. he added and omitted for each performance.
I was, as always, incredibly moved by his ability to truly capture this character.
I stood outside the stage door each night, but only talked to him twice, once on the second night and once on the third. After the final
performance, I felt like I should leave him alone--just this feeling I got--although he was incredibly gracious to everyone there. He just seemed
exhausted. On the second night, I was wearing this brightly-colored turquoise and green frock and he looked at me and said, "That's Ozwald
Boateng you're wearing." Flabbergasted and stuttering, I'm sure, all I could mutter in the end was "Yes." And Ralph said, "He
used to be my neighbor in London years ago." And again, all I could mutter was "Oh. He's great." The whole time he was making total
eye contact with me, which made me even more nervous. Then he nodded and moved on. I completely forgot that I wanted him to sign my Sydney Festival
booklet. I did end up having him sign it two nights later when I saw the play again. That night, I kept my cool a little better and asked him about
Bernard and Doris, expressing my disappointment that Little Bird hadn't yet released it. He finished signing my booklet and said to me, "You
know what you can do, my lady, is write a letter to Little Bird expressing your disappointment." I replied, "Really? That would
help?" and he said, "Yes. You see, there's a problem getting a distributor on board, but if an audience expresses interest, distributors
will be more likely to jump in. It doesn't guarantee anything, of course, but some noise is better than none." And I said, " Well, okay,
Mr. Fiennes, that sounds painless enough." And HE SMILED AND WINKED AT ME. I have never, ever seen him so chatty before--not when I saw Julius
Caesar, Faith Healer, or any of the other nights of First Love. I swear, I almost fainted. He was kind and responsive to everyone else there,
though to my surprise, there were only about four other people waiting.
I also saw Ralph in the audience during one of Lou Reed's performances. Most people, including me, actually left him alone to enjoy the show. He
seemed to be having a good time. I had bought a ticket to hear the poetry reading and was more than a little disappointed to see Lou Reed standing
in for Ralph Fiennes. I was also pleasantly surprised that a rock star did a good job of reading poetry.
Anyway, it was a memorable trip Down Under. I also went to a few other places, Melbourne included for the Australian Open because my husband is a
golf fantatic. We also got to go to New Zealand for a few places and it was magical--probably the most beautifully green place I've ever seen.
I hope everyone is well--I missed you all!
Cheers,
Annie
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